Sunday, November 20, 2011 / The Real Life

There’s no life after working. I never understand what it means until now. I feel stuck, suffocating, and depressed. I never really write about my working life, perhaps I can pour out my story now. Perhaps keeping it all inside my heart is the reason I am miserable at the first place.

Working hour starts at 9.30am. There are 3 art directors and one creative director(a.k.a the seniors). While there are 6 graphic designers – including me (also known as the juniors). Each morning, the seniors will hold a meeting discussing who is doing what job and which job needs to be output today. After that, the seniors will pass the job to us juniors. Well, whatever visual we do, we have to show the seniors first. If they don’t like it, we have to change it. We have to do until they are satisfied. Then only we can send the visual to another department – account servicing who will deal with the client.

I, like everyone else wish to have a fix working hours. But too bad, it depends on the job I have on my hand. If there is output that day, we have to stay until the clients approve and we have to finalize the artwork. My working hour is until 6.00pm. But I never go home at that actual time. The earliest would be 7.30pm while the latest will be around 12am. Every day, I work more than 10 hours. That’s not the only problem. We, the juniors have to ask permission from the seniors if we want to go home. Ask permission!!! If they want you to wait for the client’s approval, you have to wait. No questions. I feel like a kid, I don’t feel like an adult at all. Stressful.

Well, another thing is the Cantonese-speaking environment. It is so much different than my intern company. Back then English is the main language for daily conversation, while Cantonese is the second. But here, Cantonese is the main language. Only 0.01% only speaks Mandarin (like me). I never got the chance to use English because as one of the senior said before, a Chinese speaking English to another Chinese is “showing off.” I totally disagree. But what can I say?

I guess that’s why I am dreading to go to work every day. I feel like someone squeeze my heart really hard and I can’t really breathe. Along the way, I have lost my passion. My family said perhaps this isn’t my interest. You know like the quote “Find a job that you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” So basically I’m a graphic designer without a soul. *big sigh*      

Labels: Working